Intermittent reinforcement dating

I saw him recently for the first time in months and once again it felt like we were back at the beginning stages again.

He is pursuing intimacy from time to time but actively avoiding commitment.They show up once a month (text you out of the blue) and as a girl you are ecstatic because you are not pregnant (there is that giddiness of seeing a text message from a boy you like) but then the cramps, discomfort, and general unfavorable aspects of your period hit you (you typically know how his communication will falter and you are left feeling bad again).Dear Becca, Part of me wants to say, “If he’s texting intermittently, then He’s Just Not That Into You.” I always say that if you have to wonder how a guy feels about you, he doesn’t like you enough to justify the anxiety. Mixed messages feel like a code that needs to be deciphered. And as you point out, it is often difficult or even impossible to figure out the motive for this behavior. My advice is not complicated, though, which is to stop having any contact with him.”The casual nature of the hook-up culture and the non-relationship also guarantees that there won’t be that tearful breakup if things don’t work out…We should also be willing to risk feeling that embarrassment and awkwardness you’re dealt when you lay your feelings on the line and you’re rejected.This does happen, but it’s hard to imagine that guys would continue to fear rejection even after getting numerous positive responses – for months on end. We know we can turn to an ex or an orbiter when we want affirmation that we’re attractive.

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He is clearly ambivalent, and ambivalent men don’t make good boyfriends.

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